there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
