You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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