she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
