Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
