It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
