He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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