I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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