At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
