Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize