Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
