Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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