We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
