It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
