no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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