ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize