Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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