just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
