Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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