i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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