I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize