The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Less talking, more tequila
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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