i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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