next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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