dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
