He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
