So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Alive.
So much puke
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
