Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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