At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
