I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
