I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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