He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I can't turn off my feet"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
