she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
