How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
