phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize