Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
dude. I can hear the air.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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