During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
is it fun? or sober?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
