Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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