Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
as a side note pls kill me
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
