k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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