She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize