you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I need water and some morals
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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