Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
