dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
