I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize