i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
