no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
