I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
