Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
