when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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