Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
