We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
