Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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