Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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