What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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