Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Randomize
