But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
