i think my tv is drunk
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
