Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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